A Big Baby

When we were going through the process of our foster care classes and getting our license Jon and I asked Ila several times if she wanted an older sibling or a little baby. She answered each time we asked that she wanted a big baby. I tried asking her the same question using different words to make sure she understood, but every time her answer was the same. "I want a big baby mom." I guess she already knew we would be getting Harlen because that description fits him perfectly.

Ila picked out a gift for Harlen. This is the first time Ila got to see him. She proudly tells people that he is her "brudder." They get along great too. The first day or two Ila would demand attention at the same time I was holding Harlen, but after she realized we still loved her just as much as before she has no problem sharing Mom or Dad or her toys. Big sigh of relief on my part.

First Hug. I think Harlen isn't sure exactly what is going on. Ila hugged him and planted a big wet one on his cheek upon introduction. We had been talking about him for a full week before she got to meet him so she jumped right into the sister role. But if you call her a big sister she will loudly protest and say, "I not a big sister, I a Ila sister!" For whatever reason she doesn't like adjectives. Honestly I don't blame her, I never liked grammar myself. Anytime we call her silly or cute, or big sister, she says, "No I not, I'm Ila." She has also told me in the past few days that, "Mom, Harlen is my brudder but I not a sister anymore." Funny girl. Just don't tell her I said that. :)

This was our first visit with Harlen. It was at Harlens other foster home. Ila and I went to see him for a few hours and played in his room. He came to our house for several hours each day for 4 days then on Monday November 2nd he came to live with us. It was a very exciting day for us. His former foster parents dropped him off that afternoon. When we were getting ready for dinner Jon told Harlen, "Welcome home, Harlen. We've been waiting for you." I started crying when he said that. We have been waiting, it's nice to have him home.

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I've Got Some Explaining To Do

Let me start by saying that I am overwhelmed by it all. What is "it" you ask? Or perhaps, who is "H." Well I better start about a year ago. We had a Dr. appt with Dr. Fisch (like fish). We went into this particular appointment not knowing what to expect, and what he told us completely took us by surprise. We are a couple who has the opportunity to search out alternate methods to having more children. Infertility. We do not know what has caused our opportunity, we are however grateful for it. We've been through a huge emotional upheaval in our home. What do we do? When will we do it? I've learned to try to enjoy the ride my life is taking, and I have quit trying to control it. It's just easier that way.

In January we got orders to move our family to Alaska. Kind of strange, we thought, why Alaska? Regardless of the reason we packed up, well we watched the movers pack up, and we drove to The Last Frontier in May. Another important thing happened in January, something we didn't know about. A little boy named Harlen was born on January 17th, just two days after we received our orders to move to the state of this child's birth.

I welcomed moving partly because I didn't have to decided what to do concerning our opportunity. I have always loved kids. Ask anyone that knows me, and they will tell you the same. It has been heartbreaking to think that I might not be able to cherish another child in my home. I became withdrawn, and I didn't tell too many people about it, because I didn't want to talk about it, it hurt. Alot.

So when we got to Alaska, I had to deal with my emotions, and figure out my life. I am not one to just give up, so I started looking into InVitro and Adopting. Both can be equally fulfilling, but both seemed very unattainable for our family. We have a wonderful family in our ward that has a beautiful foster baby. I started to think about being a foster parent, and asked Jon to consider it. We are both excited and somewhat nervous about the decision we have made, but we feel like our kids are out there, we just have to find them.

In a whirlwind of 6 weeks we have been to the orientation class about being a Resource Family here in Alaska: (That's what they are called now, but I don't mind being called a foster family either.) Attended the Core Training Classes, 6 three hour classes: and have a license have foster children in our home. A sweet friend watched Ila for us so we could begin to find the rest of our family. We had to do a lot to get our license, and in record time. This usually takes about 6 months. Amazing how fast things go when they are the "right" thing. Jon and I have noticed in our marriage that when things are right for us, they almost magically happen. When things are not right, each step is agonizingly slow, and hard and stressful.

Yesterday, Jon and I sat in at a meeting concerning Harlen. He is currently in a wonderful home with adoring foster parents. However, Harlen might be in need of a "Forever" Home, and his current foster parents are not able to adopt him if necessary. Here's where we come in. We do want to adopt. We don't know if we will be able to adopt Harlen, but we want the opportunity to love him, and hopefully if its right, we will be able have him forever.

So there's our story. We met Harlen yesterday. He already has my heart. He has a very cute serious face when he is thinking about something, but then when you make eye contact he instantly breaks into the most amazing smile. He loves to giggle and laugh and throws his head back when he does. So cute. He has almond shaped eyes that seem to laugh when he smiles, oh his smile. He has huge cheeks that I just couldn't resist pinching and kissing. He is 9 1/2 months old. Just learned how to crawl and is on the move. Harlen is a very happy baby, sleeps great, not a picky eater, loves people, and is just the most perfect baby. He has pale skin and dark hair with brown eyes. Harlen is an Alaska Native. We are excited to learn more about the natives here in Alaska, so we can learn about Harlen's heritage.

Yesterday before meeting him I could hardly contain my excitement and also fear of the unknown. I had butterflies, which I do not usually get. The last time I had such a feeling was just minutes before Jon and I were sealed in the LDS Bountiful Temple. We sat in the Celestial Room before we were married and I had the same joy and anticipation of our new life together. I am anxious for this chapter of our lives to get past the introduction. We will most definitely have ups and downs, but I know we will better for it. We truly love life, and all the opportunities it brings to us.

Dear H.
I am anxiously awaiting your future. I hope to meet you soon. I dream about you. You are already very much loved. Please hurry as I am not as patient as I should be.

Quote of the Week

We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

-Joseph Campbell

CocoBella

You've got to check out this blog! My family has so many tallented people in it! Here is just one example. I know you'll love it. http://www.cocobelladesign.blogspot.com/

July in Review

Fourth of July BBQ.

Playing at Mirror Lake. We didn't think it would be warm enough to play in the water so I didn't bring swimming suits. Ila didn't mind swimming in her jeans, she is such a fish.

Camping at Otter Lake. The Mordens invited us to go camping with them. We had fun and it was even really close to our house. How convenient! Ila thought it was great to sit by the fire and eat smores.

Alaskan Fishing

Jon's new favorite thing to do is to go fishing. We all tried to catch a King Salmon. They are typically 50 to 100 pounds. We didn't have any luck with the kings this year, but hopefully next year we will catch one. Jon went on a Halibut Charter in July and brought home two 30 pound halibuts. He really enjoyed it. This year he caught one red salmon and one silver salmon. Not too bad for a newby. He's alreay planning on going much more next summer and hopes to fill our deep freezer.

This is Jon's first Silver Samon that he caught. Good job honey!

My Amazing Husband

My amazing hubby one Saturday morning woke up and told me out of the blue that he was going to build me my water barrel rack. I was completely shocked and amazed. I didn't even mention that I wanted him to build it on this particular day, he just did it.

Of course Ila was a huge help. She played with the scraps of wood and held nails and made Jon ask, "May I have a nail please?" before she would give one to him.

Isn't this so cool?! I went to an emergency preparedness fair in February that my ward organized and they gave out cd's with tons of information. The pattern for this rack was on it. Oh I love food storage and emergency preparedness stuff! I know, I'm a nerd...such is life. Now I just need to purchase two new caps for the bottom water barrel and we will have plenty of water to satisfy our needs if we ever happen to need it.

As an afterthought we added a nail to hold our bung wrench so it has a place to live and so we know where it is. Now we are set!

It's Here

We woke up this morning to snow on the mountains! On the first day of autumn we have snow. Alaskan's call this Termination Dust. My first beautiful Alaskan summer has been officially terminated. I'm excited and some what nervous about snow in September, we have a long winter ahead of us. It's only a matter of days before we will have snow on our doorsteps.